i don't want to write....

today is the day that I don't want to write
I'm uneasy inside and full of blah
My face is screwed up n'
I got up on the wrong side of the bed.

when emotions are on 10
and my energy at none
it's an easy playground
for satan to lurk

think of THE most vulnerable
thing to you
independence? marriage?
children? job?
maybe what your dreams are?
maybe what you are?

for me insecurities live in my head
and sometimes satan whispers
as I get out of bed

you're not enough
you're defined by your past
your kids and husband
deserve someone better

or deeper still

the people who love you
don't really love you
the people who need you
could take you or leave you
why bother trying just give up now
i, i mean really...

this isn't a test
or rare to be found
it's how evil gets us
when our guard is down

satan will use every trick up his sleeve
to distract and dissuade us from every good thing
wrong will seem right
and right will seem wrong

but if we know the truth of the One who Reigns
who created each hair on our sweet lil heads
who knit us together in our momma's wombs
with full custody over our beginning and end

then we stand firm in the face of the evil one
his plots have no footing, no ground
we recognize his messy plans to thwart
what our Father God plans for good
and so even though today
i am still feeling more than meh
i know it is passing and i know i can deal

i know that He loves me
i know where He stands
and i am comforted by the truth
that He holds me in His hand.

That's what i got today.