So I'm watching Super Soul Sunday and Oprah is interviewing Barbara Brown Taylor (who I have never heard of but is sharing much I resonate with) and she makes a statement that many of us think of life like a train ride. We get onboard with a destination in mind and then we take the track to where we are going. And we take time choosing the right train to get on to get to the exact place we are going. And we tend not to deviate. But she's come to believe that life should be more like a ride on a sailboat. It changes daily-sometimes even moment to moment. You have to adjust and tend to the sail, the wind might take you off course for a bit, you might have to change your direction or even choose to change directions based on the elements....
I love this metaphor. And not just because Oprah said she loved it too.
But when I look back over my life thus far, and at 47 I'm beginning to feel like I have some life to look back on....I see how this sailboat metaphor is so fitting, even though I believe I started out on a train.
On the train...at times I almost went on autopilot. I don't know that I always actively stayed engaged with the ride. I could zone out, check out so to speak. There were others around me but i didn't necessarily have to engage with them. From time to time the conductor might make comments or give instructions...but in general not a lot of input was needed. From time to time I might gaze out the window, intrigued by the beauty I was passing....even taking a moment to acknowledge it, but the motion of the train did not allow for lingering observation or appreciation. Sometimes I might not even be sure of what I just saw. It was so easy to doze off. To allow the certainty and rhythm of the ride to lull me to sleep. I might wake up disoriented but still confident that I was on course to my destination. And everyone around me was heading to the same place. And when I got to my stop. Sometimes I'd realize that this was not quite where I wanted to be. And I'd have to wait for another train to come so I could get onboard.
On the sailboat? There is a freedom that comes with the sailboat. Because there isn't a direct course. There is also some fear that comes with the sailboat. Because the elements cause uncertainty. I am not sure when I will arrive because the wind and waves might cause me to change course. I can't zone out because I need to stay engaged in the ride. If I want or need to stop....I can change the sails so that I can linger and enjoy and breathe. I am working with the others around me, whether on my boat or a neighboring boat...because we are sharing the waters. I might have to protect myself from the environment or even take cover for a bit....but mostly? I can be in the wide open air--face in the wind, sky and sea around me, leading and guiding...very 'Moana' ish so to speak.
On the sailboat I've been led to leave unhealthy places and seek new horizons.
On the sailboat I've been led to revisiting past hurts and embracing new experiences.
On the sailboat I've been led to bear away when heading into trouble and follow the beacon set ahead for me.
I've discovered that on the sailboat I don't have to be headed where everyone else around me is. In fact, it's more interesting when we are not. I also do not need to know when I am 'arriving'. This relieves pressure of who and what is 'waiting' for me at the station. On the sailboat I have moments of angst and unknown, but there is also peace and beauty and rest.
On the sailboat. I am free. To quote Moana, 'See the line where the sky meets the sea? It calls me and no one knows how far it goes. If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me one day I'll know, if I go there's just no telling how far I'll go.'
I'm never getting on the train again.
That’s what I got today.
