There isn't a lot of space to be neutral about a lot of things lately. But if we are really honest, much of what we love to remain neutral about? We really have no business remaining neutral about.
I have to say that since 2012 when I began to lose Facebook acquaintances at a record pace, this is the largest number of posts, anger, movement I've seen from white folks. For those who 2012 doesn't ring a bell, Trayvon Martin was murdered by George Zimmerman in February 2012. He was not immediately arrested and it was only after much protesting, phone calls/emails and civil disobedience that George was finally charged. And while he was charged....he ultimately was acquitted. At the time my sons were 15, 14, and 13 and while I have been quite aware of the ugly of this county long before 2012, there was something so incredibly personal about Trayvon's murder that propelled me to speak out more, care less about other's opinions and create my mantra 'We can be casual but we can't be close'.
In the years since....it's been tiring to say the least. And yet, not even an iota of tiring as it is for my browner and black friends. Because while I know and claim all of the fullness of my Mexican heritage, I am not naïve to the fact that to many, while they know I look different, they see me as white when they look at me. Or maybe Italian. Truth be told, only other minorities normally recognize that I am not white upon meeting me. White folks love to claim me. This has it's own disturbing reality that is another blog for another day.
The other day I re-shared a bunch of blogs I had written over the years from a tired wife and mom of black men. Who has had more conversations than I can count to try and educate, implore, teach my fellow folks about race and injustice. About the two America's that exist. You may have even seen this past week, as my heart and head remain in a constant state of potential explosion that much of my time on social media has been sharing live streams. Or if you've blocked or unfollowed me, maybe not ☺ There has been a lot of really good material shared in the last week; articles, books, resources to bring awareness and help white people who desire to move from silent bystander to a vocal ally who understands as much as they are able to. Please seek out those. Find them and read them and memorize them and then teach your white children to think different and respond different and move different so that the possibility for change increases. Help them grow up to be white people who understand privilege and fragility and believes that they are real, that things aren't the same and this country is fucked up and has been fucked up since jump. (feel free to say it nicer!)
And as I've cried. And fumed. And agonized. And fought the desire to cuss folks out. I've been mulling over and over; how to put all of the jumbled thoughts in my head into a coherent format as many have asked me my thoughts and opinions. What's inside, I need to get out. So here it goes.
We must first acknowledge that this country was never designed to uphold justice for all. The constitution is a joke that we keep trying to revive and redesign so that it will serve our purposes. But it can't. Because at it's core, it is hate filled, written with ill intent, ignoring entire people groups who built this country without ever fully enjoying the fruit of it. The farce is that white people love to sing and stand and pomp and circumstance the fuck out of anything red, white and blue that represents the "great melting pot". Flags, bandanas, desserts, tattoos, country singers belting out God Bless the USA. But they do so all the while ignoring the truth that 'We the people....' is a slap in the face to all the people who are not recognized in the eloquent words of white forefathers. If you try to discuss differently they are gonna 'All Lives Matter' you to death. The amount of information that one could take on, discover and learn about privilege and what it means and how we throw that shit around like it's fertilizer on the farm could take someone forever. But we choose not to take it on, discover it or learn it. Because that also means unlearning all of the racist and biased 'truth' that we've been brainwashed to swallow and regurgitate....like God doesn't see color and we are all equal. And we don't want to do that because we don't want to know. Or even worse, even worse? We like to pretend we know, that we're just so woke. We act like we've learned because we kissed that black guy back in the day, have one black friend, danced to Biggie when we were young, sit with our black co-worker at lunch, read one author or saw 'Do the Right Thing' and suddenly we're an ally and love to tell others about the plight of black people. But suddenly, in the midst of proclaiming our wokeness, we end up in a deeper sleep than before. But it's worse because it's hidden. Not just to others but even to ourselves. Until one day, a racist white woman calls the police on a black man in Central Park and not just calls the police on him, but ANNOUNCES, without any shame that she is going to tell them that she is being THREATENED by a black man because she knows what that means. And we respond with....I mean we don't know that she's racist! Yes the fuck she is. Or we hear about any of the horrific real life stories that have made our headlines (and the millions situations that don't) and right away we try to justify, defend or 'try to make sense of things.' I'm so fucking tired of folks trying to make sense of things. You can't. Period. You can't make sense of it because it is what it is.
Racist ideology runs thick through the fiber of this country and thus, also runs through any system that has been put in place since the beginning it's time. And from the moment that Natives were lied to, murdered, tortured, and tucked away from the pristine lily whiteness of 'merica; it's been that way. Healthcare. Housing. Education. Financial. Until EVERY white person can acknowledge that truth, stand up for the oppressed in every circumstance they encounter, there will be no justice. So there can be no peace.
I know to some I am extreme. It's easy to take my socialist views and disregard me. It's easy to say I'm too emotional because my husband and sons are black. It's easy to roll your eyes because I'm just always blah blah blah'ing and being so mean to nice people. Fuck nice people. The definition of nice is being agreeable and pleasant. I refuse to be agreeable and pleasant about racism and the racist ideologies that must be dismantled before there can be real justice and real peace.
That's what I've got today.
