So you're saying that's sin?!

I had a few interactions the other day that have stuck with me and been rattling around in my brain.

While leading a study on John 1:1-5 I opened up the last few minutes for questions.  Based on the attitudes and skepticism of the group to that point, I almost hesitated to do so,  but I had promised that I would, so I had to keep my word.

The first few questions were based much on asking my opinions about different things.  One young lady asked a parenting question which led to sharing an example from my own family.  Another asked what I really thought about forgiveness which led to sharing an example of a person I have to forgive over and over.  One asked about Heaven and I shared about my Grandpa who would soon be meeting Jesus.
Then the kicker.

'So I have a question for you.  I guess I'm wondering your opinion on something.  Because I know how I feel about it, but I'm wondering what you do.  So, like, I'm married okay.  But we aren't together and haven't been so it's whatever.  And now I love my boyfriend and I know he's the one and we have this baby and we want to make things work but because I'm still married it's like kind of weird.  So what, based on what you believe, you're telling me that's a sin?'

'Yes.'

'The two of us loving each other and being together and having this baby, because I'm a "married woman" (and she made quotes in the air)...that's a sin?'

'Yes.'

At this point she leaned forward a little and got this smirk on her face.  'But my husband and I have not even been together in like years. So it's like we're divorced.  And he's moved on too.  And I have this baby now.  This precious gift.  But you're saying me being with him is sinning.'

'Yes.'

Another participant looked from me to her, from me to her and then said, 'Wow, I guess she told you!'

I kind of shook my head and said, 'Are you married to one man and having a sexual relationship with another?'  The woman said, 'Well yes.'  She paused. 'So that's like adultery right?'

I nodded. 

'Well.  Thank you.  At least you were honest with me.  I've asked that question to two other people here and I could tell that they thought it was but they wouldn't come out and tell me so.'

Then I asked if I could expand a little.

I shared with her that I couldn't judge her for her choices, but I couldn't pretend that it wasn't sin just to save her feelings.  I told her that I didn't know where she was at with her relationship with Christ and so I didn't know if that's something that matters to her or not.  Before I was a believer there were things I chose to do that I knew inside of me were wrong for moral reasons, but didn't really have a biblical foundation to temper that against.  I also shared with her that based on the fact that she even asked the question...I was wondering if she was either trying to "catch" me being hypocritical or if somewhere inside of herself she already felt that it was sin and wanted someone else to say it.

I shared with her that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God.  I shared with her that we have free will and so we have choices.  That we are not slaves to sin because God sent His son Jesus Christ to suffer persecution, die on the cross and rise from the dead so that we might live for eternity.  That Satan does not have any power over us that we do not allow because death has been defeated by the victory of the cross!!  I told her that God loves her, each of us, despite our sin.  

She told me that there's always been a part of her that thought that might be part of why things don't seem to go well with this new relationship and that maybe she needs to think about ending the first one before trying to make the second one work. She also said she was glad I didn't try to sugercoat anything.

Class ended.  For a brief moment I wondered if I might have gone a little too direct knowing there were other ladies in the room and that we hadn't had a ton of time to really discuss the situation.  Would she think I was too harsh, had I expressed myself clearly and with love...  All of that got cut very short because that is when I got the voicemail that my Grandpa Skinner had died and the next hour was spent making calls, crying with my co-workers and processing.  As I was getting ready to leave, one of my coworkers let me know that one of the ladies might say something to me because she had seen the crying and asked her what was wrong.  She had let her know my grandfather had died.  My coworker wanted to give me the heads up.

Moments later there was a knock on the office door.  I opened it and it was the woman from class.  She asked if she could talk to me for a minute.  I stepped into the hallway and she got tears in her eyes and said, "I heard about your Grandpa.  You were just talking about him!  I wanted to say I'm really sorry!" And then she hugged me.  And we cried.  And we hugged. 

I thanked her.  She told me that she was going to pray for me and my family and told me again that she was sorry.  I thanked her again and told her to have a good weekend.

Be prepared to be taught lessons when you are least expecting them. Grateful.

That's what I got today.