I just finished 13 Reasons Why on Netflix. As painful as it is to watch some of the scenes because they are graphic. I would strongly advise watching this. You can cover your eyes or fast forward if it's too difficult to watch. I have sooo much to share regarding this series. I am most positive that this will develop into many blogs. That's ok. It's a topic that must be discussed.
I'm aware of the strong controversy surrounding this series. And I definitely wouldn't suggest littles watch....but depending on where they go to school, what they've been exposed to...I think young people 13 and older could be the appropriate age. Of course parents need to make their own decisions for their family....but I would caution from hiding and pretending this isn't real.
The real and raw way that high school life is portrayed....is pretty spot on. From the masks worn to fit in, rape culture, bullying, hiding vulnerability, pretending, rape, drinking and drugs, etc....you will get a glimpse into the world that is. And if you have strong opinions regarding suicide it might rock the foundation you think you stand on.
It's possible that because I attempted suicide at age 16...that I see this from a different perspective than the average 45 year old woman. It's possible that because my kids share many things about their world that other don't....that I see this from a different perspective than the average mom.
We can't reduce the horrific reality that our children are living to clichés and anecdotes.
They deserve better. And we must be more involved, more aware, more willing to have the deep, dark ugly conversations that must happen.
Bullying is not just the kid that calls another kid a name. We all take part in bullying when we don't stand up for the person or people being bullied. You can't just teach your child not to call other kids names. You need to teach them what to do if they hear someone else being called a name. And you need to teach them what to do if they are the one being called the name. As parents that is two common places we like to live....the 'my kid would never bully someone else' camp or the 'nobody would bully my child-they are too sweet' camp. The reality yes they might and yes they could. This means we better work through our own shit so that we can be a solid and safe place for them to come. There's no right way to this. Please hear me that I am not trying to judge anyone's parenting style or personal struggles. But I do believe that in order for us to fully enter into our kids realities we need to check our own at the door....or at least acknowledge that it exists.
Rape and rape culture is real. The teens (both male and female) that do not and can not recognize that are at risk of becoming involved in it. We can't put our heads in the sand that our kid isn't doing it. All kinds of students can sext, send naked pictures, ignore signs, rape others, place blame on victims, not understand consent. It's more than just----don't force a girl to have sex. My generation especially....do we get that? There are many layers. Have our daughter's and son's been taught what consent is? Our children need to stop being taught to focus on the no and start to focus on the yes. Consent is not 'saying no'....consent is saying yes. And locker room talk? Is not ok. And the phrase 'boys will be boys' well that just makes me want to puke or punch someone in the throat. (still working on my violent 'take my earrings out' response at times)
This isn't a phase or 'not here' issue. Suicide affects children as young as eight!!!!!
What in the world are we doing and what the actual hell are we thinking.
So much more to process.....so much more to say.
But that' s what I've got today.
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