I've tossed these phrases out so often. To friends. To women I minister to. To family. To myself. And I believe them with all of my heart.
But to find yourself in the midst of truly needing them? To have the life application available to put them into practice? That's another things entirely.
'So we need to figure out exactly what is going on. And the concern is that we need to get that heart pumping properly. Because of this we need to restrict physical activity until I see him again. I don't do this lightly and I want you to know that. In fact, this is the first patient I've restricted in 3 years. That's how serious I'm taking this. I know this is a lot to take in.'
Yesterday, a youth cardiologist said those words to me. And he was right. It was a lot to take in. Almost too much.
As we waited for the EKG we didn't talk much. My mind was racing. I have to be honest, my brain jumped quickly from him not being in gym or sports....to God's grace.
His heart has not been functioning properly and we don't know for how long. He first experienced something in April and didn't say anything until his sport physical in July. But at this point, there's no telling if it's been ongoing, lifelong, etc. This boy goes nonstop. Track practice 4-6 times a week, track meets, full week of activity at Nationals, recent cross country runs daily. And aside of the occasional bouts of pain, which led to these appointments, he has not been affected. His heart has kept beating. Grace.
As a teenage boy who LOVES and LIVES sports....he spoke up. He was honest and open about the pain he had experienced. He answered the doctor's questions fully, without hesitation, admittedly aware that it might mean he wouldn't get that sport slip signed in time. He says that he just felt he needed to say something and the physical seemed like the right time. Grace.
Our family doctor took the information seriously. She didn't wave it off. She didn't dismiss it as 'normal'. Having been our family doctor for almost 15 years...she knows his history. She knows he is a physically fit kid. She knows that he can run 10-15 miles at a time and so he wasn't 'getting winded' from sprints at practice. She didn't say, 'keep an eye on that and let me know if it continues.' She referred him to the cardiologist. Grace.
The cardiologist got the results and was honest to say that he didn't feel equipped to analyze them. That he had made notes and written a report based on his findings, but he really felt that because of Elijah's age (16) that he should be seen at Children's. That they would be best equipped to determine what, if anything, should be done and what they thought. Grace.
Which led us to the appointment yesterday.
I am doing my best not to go into panic mommy mode and smother. Even though I would really like to just make him sit on my lap and sing songs to him and rock him. :) I am also doing my best to not over or under react. To follow their instructions until the appointment September 13th. To take one day at a time. To trust.
I have no control over this. September 13th is going to come and I have no idea what they will find when they do the follow up echocardiogram. I don't know if the medicine he is taking will help. Or even refraining from sports.
But I know that God does. And I know that He loves my son more than I ever could imagine. And it is true, He will never leave His side or mine. I am thankful for so many friends and family who are praying...not just for the results and healing, but for our hearts in the midst. For the journey through the storm. For peace.
Have you ever felt prayers? It is the most peaceful and amazing thing. To be content in the midst of chaos. To be calm in the midst of craze. To honestly and fully embrace His plan.
Relying on Him for comfort.
Trusting His plan.
Believing He is near.
That's what I got today.
No comments:
Post a Comment