Battlefield

What I'm going to write is hard but it's been on my heart for awhile and I just have this feeling that there might be some other momma's out there that will benefit from it.

So I'm sharing.

I love my husband and my kids.  Being a mom is a great joy to me.  Not that I don't ever get stressed or tired...believe me I most definitely do...but to watch my kids grow and change is awesome.  Being a wife is hard work but definitely worth the work.  It doesn't matter how much you love each other...you are going to hurt each other, you are going to get on each other's nerves, you will have times of frustration...but to be connected to someone on a different level is special.

Satan desires to seek, kill and destroy anything in my life, in all of our lives that is good and reflective of love.  For me, that does not just mean my work, my ministry, my mentoring.  That includes my love for my kids and my husband.  Peace in my household.

Why do I forget that.

Why do I forget he's always there.

Waiting.

When they aggravate me.  When they hurt my feelings.  When I irritate them.  When I do them wrong.  Why do I fall prey to my emotions, my distrust, my temptations?  Why do I lash out in anger? Because I do not stay fully aware of Satan's tricks and I let down my guard. 

I struggle with trust.

I struggle with acceptance.

I struggle with worth.

And yet.  I know that I am beautifully and wonderfully made.  I know that He desires to give me hope and a future.  I know that when I keep my focus on what is good, pure, lovely then God's peace will be with me.

I am free from distrust.

I am free from neediness.

I am free from worthlessness.

I know this about so many facets of my life.  I apply them.  And yet.  In my own home, I forget.

I let sin and despair seep in and pepper the way that I interact.  That I love.

I work in a field, in an environment where I know I am in a spiritual battle.  I have no doubt of that.  

But I'm in that same spiritual battle in my personal life as well.  It's not exempt.  I know that Satan would love to destroy my marriage.  My relationships.  My peace.  My joy.  I need to be armored up 24/7 and always alert.

Thankful for open eyes.  And opportunity for growth.  And freedom.

That's what I got today.