the mystery of ministry...

'We are not the healers, we are not the reconcilers, we are not the givers of life.  We are sinful, broken, vulnerable people who need as much care as anyone we care for.  The mystery of ministry is that we have been chosen to make our own limited and very conditional love the gateway for the unlimited and unconditional love of God....the leadership about which Jesus speaks is of a radically different kind from the leadership offered by the world.  It is a servant leadership in which the leader is a vulnerable servant who needs the people as much as they need their leader.' 
In the Name of Jesus by Henri J. M. Nouwen

Reading this today struck such a chord with me.  I can look into my ministry over the years and see times when I almost drank the kool-aid.  When I almost began to believe own hype.  I didn't even realize it or see it coming.  It's the carefully crafted way that Satan sneaks in on us.  It scared me.

I love Jesus.

He has changed everything about my life.  Drawing close to God and striving daily to walk in obedience to His ways continues to mold me and chisel away at my sinful self.  The freedom with which I am able to express that love is only because of Holy Spirit power.

But I will never "arrive" while I am here on earth.
I will never have the right formula for ministry.
I will never reach a target group.
I will never be able to determine the most effective ways to bring people to God.
I will never be able to "set the stage" for hearts to be convicted.

Because I, quite honestly, have very little to do with any of it.

I am sinful.  I am broken.  I am vulnerable. 
I am limited.
He is not.

He is sinless.  He is whole.  He is authority.
He is limitless.

I do not have all the answers and I do not need to.  He is the answer.

There is no benchmark or goal for ministry.
The only thing I am concerned with is loving and feeding the sheep.

He heals.
He convicts.
He protects.
He delivers.
He saves.

I just pray that I am able to get myself out of the way so that He can use me as He sees fit.  Some days I do that well.  Some days...not so much.  

All I can do is love Him and then share that love with others.  It is the greatest joy of my life.  I am so grateful.

That's what I got today.