3rd glance? Just no.

I am fully aware that the blog I am going to write today is going to rub some people the wrong way. I am sure I will be called a hater or petty or an old lady and if this opinion makes me that, well, so be it.  Disregard the picture below for now. I'll get to that in a minute. And before your blast me with .....it goes both ways, double standard....please, feel free to write your own blog. This is my opinion and what I've got today.

Because of the number of times this has occurred in the last few days (well, it's a very often thing actually...but specifically brought to my attention the last few days) I felt compelled to write....

Men. Young and old. I have some advice.  Take it if you'd like. Write me off if you'd like. I promise you there are A LOT of us who share this opinion.

Can you please respect women, females, ladies, girls, chicks, babes, whatever vernacular you are using to describe us....and stick with the 2 glance minimum and avoid the 3rd glance, stare and once over?

We are not here to be your eye candy. And even those that may not have been taught yet that their worth does not lie in a man's approval of their appearance?  They aren't your eye candy either.

I see it like this.

There's the 1st glance. We are people. We notice each other. Many of us glance at the people around us. Might catch and eye and smile. Might give a nod.

Then there's the 2nd glance. Often this is just moments after the 1st glance. Occasionally it's a minute or two later. But we know when it comes. It is a little bit longer and could be for a number of reasons. Maybe we have a booger hanging out of our nose. Maybe we something in our teeth. Maybe you like our hair style. Maybe we remind you of someone. Maybe you think you know us. Maybe you find us attractive. Regardless. We know you have glanced twice. No big deal.

Then. There's the 3rd glance. Which becomes almost a stare and then definitely includes your eyes scanning our entire body.

3rd glance?

Stop. Just stop this. It's easy to do. It's called self control.

This 3rd glance includes looking at us from our face all the way down to our tootsies. And then, it often even includes the glance back up. Excuse me, but my toes, legs, hips, chest, and smile are not here for your viewing pleasure. And I don't know what is worse....pretending that you aren't doing it....or your gaze lingering longer on the body part you find attractive. 

This often has nothing to do with what we look like or what we are wearing. Now. Enter picture below. This is me today and pretty common of what I look like on a community work day. Dressed appropriately. Yes I'm in leggings but everything is covered. No make up. Looking all of my 46 years and minding my business.  Wearing open toe because summer.

And the number of 3rd glances had me ready to agree with my husband's request for me to carry a taser for my job. (Which, incidentally, is why I likely should never carry one. Today I might have just used it.)



Men.

Please. Teach your sons and the other young men around you to value us for more than our bodies. To respect that we are not an object to ogle. Exert the self control yourself and stop yourself before the 3rd glance. This is especially important

Maybe some of you already are 2nd glancers. You were either raised such that you do not do this or you realized that it really, at it's core, is disrespectful and learned to stop at 2. Then guess what, please help your 3rd glancer friends and family out.

Maybe some of you are 3rd glancers and this might be hard to stop. Maybe you've never even thought about the fact that this is unsolicited attention and that it isn't flattering.  (and to the those of us in the camp who think it is, of which I formerly was....that blog is coming too)  Maybe you think because you aren't whistling or cat calling that it's 'not that bad'.  That's an entirely different level yes, but the 3rd glance once over is what we're focusing on here.

1st glance? Yes.
2nd glance? Yes.
3rd glance? No. Just no.

That's what I got today.