How come?

Last night we took two of our sons out to eat and 7 of their friends as well.  As we entered the Chinese Buffet and they each walked past the counter to find a table, put their coats up and grab their food....you could see eyes follow us. Some with a small smile, some with a scowl, some looking nervous, and the woman behind the counter staring very....intensely. I'm not sure what these folks all saw....

Me?

I saw respectful, goofy, dedicated, college athletes....all from different backgrounds....all working on making their dreams reality....all trying to find ways to buy groceries and toiletries and pay their bills. They talked about parties and school work and practice. They live on Snapchat and 4 hours of sleep and laughter and stress. And as we separated after the meal and each young person came and thanked us---hugs for me, handshakes for Marlon---and we got in the car to head to our hotel---I couldn't stop smiling.  I'm better for having experienced that evening.

But part of me gets angry too....

Because I know that there are those that would 'label' this group of young black people as "some of the good ones" and view young black people who maybe aren't in college--maybe not making the best choices right now--as "bad" "thugs" or "ghetto".  You know, all the politically correct ways to say N***A without actually saying it.  You know, keep that shit private in your own home where you can toss N***A out with a braveness you can't muster in public.

And that pisses me off.  Seriously, like put down my Jesus, knock someone out pissed off.

You might have thought you were about to read one kind of blog. Get ready to read another. Because this has been brewing and if you aren't ready to read/see/hear the truth then I suggest you stop reading. I can only share the truth as what I've experienced and observed, so there's no point in telling me this isn't true or doesn't happen. Perhaps your nice little life allows you to ignore or not see this truth. Perhaps you choose to keep your eyes closed and pretend that you know not of what I speak. But also, perhaps....if you are willing and brave....after reading this....you will allow yourself to see these situations too.  And if you willing and brave.....after reading this....you will allow yourself to say something the next time you do.

1. How come a white young adult can be living at home, running the streets, occasionally getting high, not keep a job, have sex with whoever and they are 'finding themselves' or they are 'just young'.  But a young black person does the same and they are going nowhere, have nothing going for them, aren't going to amount to anything??

2. How come a little person of color can have trouble at school sitting still or focusing, can say things they shouldn't and is almost always either coddled by a teacher because they must have a horrible home life with no daddy and they must be saved OR they are labeled a 'bad' kid and parents are told to put them on medicine,called to pick them up from school or treated with disdain by the teacher?

3. How come the young black person who is accepted to college is still not given credit...but instead there're whispers of affirmative action and of course black kids get all the scholarships and money in the world you know? Hey ignorant person it doesn't work that way. (and if you believe that without doing any research but simply because your non black butt couldn't get in college-then you are ignorant to the process of applying to college so I'm not name calling) Why can't they have worked hard to get there and are paying for college with loans and will be in debt for decades like the rest of young 'merica?

4. How come there are not the same punishments for same behavior?  In school, in sports, in life. You can almost feel the racial bias exuding from certain teachers, coaches, staff.  But it's the gap in arrests and punishment for marajuana possession and use that makes me seethe. The rate of marajuana use is pretty evenly matched between black and whites. This is able to be tracked by the census so I'm not making stuff up. However, the arrest rates are incredibly different. In some states black are over 8 times more likely to be arrested for marajuana possession!?!

5. How come my sons....who by all accounts are mostly seen by people who know them as respectful, thoughtful, successful young people...are still seen as dangerous, up to no good, questionable by many in society. By some store clerks, security, average citizen, law enforcement?  How come their size, their hoodie, their backpack, their color.....indicates that they must have an eye kept on them? That they might do something shady?

6. How come a white person doesn't go to college, has kids young, finds a decent job and struggles to make ends meet, receives foodshare and medical assistance and they are doing their best.....making the most of their situation and providing for their family?  How come a black person doesn't go to college, has kids young, finds a decent job and struggles to make ends meet, receives foodshare and medical assistance and they are living off of the system, draining our taxes and welfare queens? (Which coincidentally REALLY pisses me off because the ignorance of thinking welfare and food stamps still exist--just makes me want to explode!)

How?  How does this happen?

It happens because of racism. It happens not because 'I make everything about race' but because our country was founded on systemic racial divides that continue to this day. It happens because we raped and murdered and removed the occupants on this land because we wanted it and because we could. It happens because we built this country to what it is on the backs of those we could control and abuse and exploit. It happens because the constitution everyone is so proud of wasn't written for everyone and still to this day doesn't apply to everyone.

Racism isn't racial prejudice.

Racial prejudice is any race having preconceived notions about any other race and judging them for it. Jewish people are cheap, Asian people are cold, Mexican people are lazy, Black people are criminals or athletes, White people are rich.

Racism...and don't look to the white privilege Webster's definition of racism to fully explain racism.... is entire social systems in our country being built on racist ideology and constructed to provide and esteem white america and withhold abundance from people of color.  The labor market, owning land, the education system, the criminal justice system....all reflect biased and inequity. This isn't up for debate. The information and proof is there if you desire to see it to believe it.

Can a young person of color find success and live a wonderfully sweet and stable life?

Of course.

But believe me, it is in spite of what this society expects of them and readily and accessibly offers them.

And that. Is the injustice.



That's what I got today.