20.

                          


20 years. These kids above had NO clue what they were getting into. Young and in love. Ready to conquer. Already parents and partners. I mean....how hard could it be?

Man. People just don't prepare you. It is hard.  It is hard to daily and actively put someone ahead of you, consider their feelings, change habits that are hurtful, truly forgive over and again. I can't be anything but real. Our marriage has had days....weeks....months even where we've gone through the motions and just stayed the course because of our commitment to do so. Things that you didn't think would bother you, bother you.  There's been times we have both considered throwing in the towel if I'm being honest.

But.

If you can stay the course.

It is also easy. Because this person, this lover and friend?  Is also the person who has seen you at your worst.  Who has held your hand when you've been afraid. Who has dried your tears. Who has rejoiced with you. Who has hurt you and been hurt by you. And forgiven you. And been forgiven by you. Who you get to do life with.

It is also sweet. Because you have memories that nobody else has. You have watched your children blossom. You have experienced every emotion possible together. You have a deep understanding of the other's heart. You laugh and remember. You have hope.

I don't know the secret to a happy marriage. I swear I don't. I chased it for a long time and it seemed the more I sought that...the less happy I was. But somehow even not knowing that....through authenticity, through commitment, through focus on the other, through love....we are choosing to allow our marriage to withstand life. And through all of the triumphs and trials there is no other person that I would want to have by my side.

We've been together longer than 20...but in this day and age I am a believer that celebrating the milestones....ESPECIALLY marriage milestones.....is a special and honoring thing.

I picked 20 words to define these last 20 years.

Tender. Struggle. Laughter. Chaos. Partner. Full. Sexy. Understanding. Inlaws. Busy. Embrace. Silly. Kids. Joy. Tears. Chisel. Insight. Choices. Pain. Celebration.


I am ready for another 20.


That's what I got today.