My early 20s were spent pretty wildly. Actually, I pretty much lived two lives. I had the finish college, dote on my daughter life and the party like a rock star life. Neither of which had much to do with God.
I never denied God's existence....there just wasn't much acknowledging his existing in my life in those years.
As a student and a mom I did a lot of praying. I prayed that my daughter wouldn't be too scarred by the back and forth of co-parenting with her dad. I prayed that I'd finish college and find a decent job. I prayed about the future and I prayed I wouldn't always be alone.
As a rock star? Pretty much the only praying I did was that I'd make it home safe while behaving in all kinds of ways that make it a miracle that I did. There were some situations where I just couldn't explain how I survived.
College/mom life? I was learning about other cultures and women's issues and race relations in this country. I was dancing and choreographing and dreaming. I was teaching a little how to use her manners and wear long sleeves and be independent.
Rock star life? I was learning how much alcohol I could drink and still get up and dance on a table. I was learning how long it took to drive to Jalisco's for a steak burrito suizo at bar time if you were in a different city. I was learning how easy it was to manipulate men.
But looking back....
I always worked with people who believed in Jesus Christ, who went to church, who had bibles on their desks. Who said they would pray for me or invited me to different events. I occasionally took them up on their offers but honestly it was mostly out of respect for them than because I was really interested in what I was attending. I really wasn't sure how or if any of it would ever be relevant. But it was nice to know people were praying for me and my heathen ways.
But basically? I was just doing me. And I was a lot to do so.....
That's what I got today.
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