Last night as I kissed my husband good night...I had tears in my eyes. And wanted to snuggle in his arms just a little longer. And stare at his face more intently.
Last night I was finally able to watch the movie 'Loving'. I didn't get to it in the theatres and was happy to see it on In Demand. (or whatever Direct TV's name is for movie channels) As I knew it would...it wrecked me. Angered me. Saddened me. And filled me with pride and hope.
If you haven't heard of it....Loving is the movie based on the real life story of Richard and Mildred Loving and the pivotal Supreme Court case of Loving vs. Virginia, 1967.
If you haven't heard of that...it is the decision that invalidated laws that prohibited interracial marriage.
Because love won.
At the time 17 states had laws which made interracial marriage illegal. (bonus points if you can guess whether or not the majority of these states were in the north or south)
Illegal.
So Richard and Mildred travelled to Washington DC to wed and returned to their home state of Virginia to build their lives together.
And when they were found out. They were arrested. Thrown in jail. He was bailed out and not allowed to bail her out. Her father had to come to bail her out. They were given the option to avoid jail time ONLY by pleading guilty and agreeing to leave Virginia for 25 years! So they left. Their homes, their families, their friends, his job.
What transpires is hopelessness, a 2nd arrest when they returned to Virginia for the birth of their first child, years of staying away, and finally an accident that sent them back to Virginia. 'I don't care what they do to us' Mildred told Richard.
Then.....a letter written to Robert Kennedy by Mildred asking for help, which leads to the ACLU, which leads to motions and appeals in 1963, which leads to Virginia court of appeals ruling against the Lovings in 1966 which leads to the US Supreme Court decision in 1967.
Unconstitutional. Any race can marry. In any state.
This matters.
Richard and Mildred....the ACLU giving a damn....the Supreme Court being allowed to do what it is designed to do....the ability to look deeper than law and order to the decency of humanity and freedom....
Are the reasons I can kiss my husband good night.
That isn't lost on me. This couple's desire to live their life, their bravery when they perhaps didn't even realize how brave they were being....led to the pivotal decision in 1967 that allowed me in 1998 to marry Marlon.
50 years ago. People. I'm 45. Just 50 years ago it was FINALLY decided that individuals of different races could marry in any state.
That isn't a long time.
And for all of the folks who believed this law was outrageous...there were hundreds, thousands more who were all for it. Guess what....I bet some of those folks are still around. And their kids. And their grandkids.
And for all of the folks desiring the freedom to wed who they would like and live where they would like....there were those wondering, 'why couldn't they just behave and follow the law and live in one of the states where it was already legal' 'why do they have to get married and have kids--rock the boat' or even uglier 'why couldn't they just fall in love with someone like them' And some of both are still around.
So while we can definitely be certain that there has been change....when hate rears it's ugly head....let's not act so brand new that we can't believe it or don't understand where it's coming from. It hasn't birthed itself....it's never died.
There is always a first. To change. To growth. To challenging what has been accepted.
Laws are meant to be challenged. And when they are unconstitutional? They are meant to be changed.
I can't imagine not having the freedom to marry Marlon.
I can't imagine my children being seen as an abomination.
I am grateful to Richard and Mildred and their love. Their story inspires me decades later.
Love vs. Virginia
Love vs. Whoever
Love vs. Whatever
Love vs. Hate
Love wins.
That's what I've got today.
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