Thoughts and Prayers.....

I think I've shared before how the weight of the world sometimes weighs on me in ways that are hard to explain. I have very well meaning people who love me and remind me that this isn't healthy, that remind me to let things go and that might even get frustrated when I fall into my 'eeyore' zone...but honestly? It isn't something that I have control over. I'm sure at times it might a part of my battle against my diagnosis...but more often it's just that the world can be ugly and overwhelming. If I'm honest, lately, for months actually, I've been clinging to love and to hope. Because there is so much hate.

I know there's good.
I regularly get to be a part of it through my job
and BLOOM
Through my church and my friends.

But sometimes.
Sometimes when I focus only on what's good....
I fear I will become one of those
'Thoughts and Prayers ostriches
Hiding behind jolly quips
and sunny memes.

Who can read about kids in cages
And tsk that their parents sought refuge
Who can hear about mass shootings
And be sad the shooter was bullied
Rather than horrified he was in possession
of such a weapon.

Who see another unarmed man being shot
And think 'why didn't he listen TO A TEE'
Yet not speak out against white folks
Who think it's ok to yell at the cops
And even more
Are unable to see the connection, white privilege
At the least white fragility....

Who focus just on their own and what they have
And judge those that don't
Who think it is just about desire
And if you wanted to have then you would
Who forget the support they have
to help them get through.

Who make their kids live lies
Because they can't accept them as they are
Hiding and pretending
to be something they are not

I could tell myself
All is well
And truly believe it
If I put my head in the sand
Then I wouldn't have to worry
Because 'all things work together for good'
And the 'sun will come out tomorrow'
Here, take these 'thoughts and prayers'
But

Life is hard.
And good doesn't just happen.
You can't smile and pretend
Unless you are choosing to
Live in a bubble
Ignore other's struggles
Please don't

Because there is a world of folks
Who need you to see
Need you to fight
Need you to stand up
To call others out
Even if you might have to shout
To stop sending your
Thoughts and prayers
But get up, go out
And feed someone
Clothe someone
House someone
Protect someone
Hug someone (if they want)
Love someone.

Sometimes I'm tired.
Sometimes I'm weary.
And the days are long.
But even if tomorrow is dark
And a situation just doesn't have good.
I'm still going to cling to love and hope.
I'm still going to get up.
Stand up.
And I'm banking on my tribe
To be right there
So I'm not standing alone.