Hold My Earrings....

So last night was the North vs.South game. I had a football boy graduate from South in 2014. I sat in those stands for years. Full fledged fan. I had a football boy graduate from North in 2017. I didn't sit in those stands as  many years, but I was full fledged fan when I did.

So last night I decided I would go back and forth between the two sides.

South--I have absolutely no kind words to say about the head coach. But. Izzy's lil bro and our extra son Mason plays for South. So I had to cheer for him.

North--I respect the head coach. But. I'm not really connected to any of the players like I am Mason.

So I wore some Bearcat gear to represent my son's college team and planed to sit back and forth between the stands.

I'm sitting between a bunch of South fans. Some of which I know.  And I'm cheering for Mason. And occasionally small, silent cheers when North does something noteworthy.

There's this athlete on North who is pretty good. Makes a lot of big plays. Last night defensively he made a few right in a row--defending the same player on South. And so his name happened to be said a few times back to back by the announcer. As a result, the North student section began one of high school sports standard chants,

'Whose your daddy!  Whose your daddy!  Whose your daddy!'


Now for those who don't know, this basically, in general terms means, 'He just schooled you, he just put you in your place as a father would. You are his son.'

'Whose your daddy! Whose your daddy! Whose your daddy!'

And a South fan...grown ass man....no clue who he was or how he was connected, called out (not loud enough for everyone--but loud enough for the section around him), 'Does he even know who his daddy is?'  Light laughter from the others, good ol' laugh from him.

Let me add. This player is black.

And without hesistation, because I've decided uncomfortable for others or not, I am no longer letting even the slightest bit of racial stereotype, discrimination, IGNORANCE to be ignored around me, I turned around and said, 'What the hell does that mean?'

To which there was a small giggle.  (ps. It is a pet peeve when grown men giggle, especially when they've just been laughing and gettin their hee-hee on...like a toddler who has been caught misbehaving)

'Seriously, why the fuck would you say that?  Because I know that young man. And you have absolutely no valid reason to say that......do you?  (pause) Or do you?'

To which there was awkward, uncomfortable silence.

'I know any further jack ass comments are gonna make things pretty ugly. I suggest you wait until I move around next quarter.'

To which there was aversion of the eyes.  Seriously?

So. Livid.

Confused as to why so livid? I know some of you will get it. And I know some won't.

Are there POC (people of color) single mothers? Yes.  I am not denying those statistics exist.

However, I do believe those statistics are skewed.

Most racial breakdowns of single mothers are in the following categories: Asian, African American, Hispanic, and non-Hispanic whites. Because actually Hispanic is not noted on most forms as a race to choose. It is an ethnicity to say you are or aren't.

But I digress. Sorry the sociologist in me sometimes can't turn off.

So re-read the categories if you need to.

Did you catch it?  What they did there? Did you?

Someone like me.....who was a single mom....but am white-hispanic....I'm gonna get tossed in the Hispanic category.  But I was also a white single mom.  But I 'boost' the Hispanic category by clicking the Hispanic box.

Why?  Have you thought about why this exists?  Have you cared?  Might it be so we can continue to perpetuate the lie that there are virtually NO black fathers around?  No Hispanic fathers around?Because that statistic is often also the statistic used for fatherless children (which it often is).  But I know many single mothers who did not marry the bio dad, but he is still an engaged and partnership parent with his children.

Also, what about the "minority" kids who have white mommies?  Do those mommies get a pass from the stereotype because of the color of their skin? Do those kids get considered in the category as a minority kid without a dad? Or are they left out of that statistic...and the stereotype because of their white mom?

I can tell you they don't get left out of the discrimination.

Words matter.

And that man....fine, you might try to argue that he might not have even realized how incredibly ignorant and racially charged his comment was.  I am not sure how....but there are still white people who say, 'I don't see color...I don't have a racist bone in my body....I didn't own slaves.' ....but I would be willing to bet money, seriously THOUSANDS of dollars that if that athlete had been white?  THAT is not the comment that fan would have made.

He might have said a hundred other things as a salty fan, but not...

'Does he even know who his daddy is?'

And if you are honest with yourself....in the still space of your heart....where you aren't defensive, justifying and denying....I would also bet that you believe that too.

Don't be afraid of that.  You might be becoming just a little more woke.

That's what I got today.