There's this mom I know. She has three litte guys, stairstep in age. 3, 2 and 1.
They are constantly moving. Running. Jumping. Screaming. Fighting. Pushing. Laughing. Crying.
One is almost always poking another in the eye.
One is almost always pulling on her clothes.
One is almost always trying to run away.
And she is frazzled. Beside herself.
Oh my do I relate.
Isaiah was born 5/20/96. Elijah was born 7/17/97. Israel was born 10/20/98.
It makes my head spin to think about now!
Today one of her son's threw a cup at someone because he was angry and she said, "I bet one of your boys would never have done that!" I laughed and told her, "Done that? They might do that NOW!"
But it got me thinking.
About being a mom.
And the stages we go through.
And what the 'world' tells us is "right".
I so want the women around me to know that there are no easy answers. I so want them to know that the trendy moms they see on TV shows who have things handled perfectly are not reflective of real life. Real life? Well, for some, that's nothing pretty.
Confession #1: I did not cherish every sweet moment. Quite honestly, I don't remember a ton of 98 or 99 athough I KNOW there were sweet moments in there! (I have pictures to prove it) I had three in diapers, a new husband, a young daughter and worked. I am not saying that as a badge of honor. In fact for a long time I felt bad that my kids had somehow missed out because I didn't nibble their toes every time I changed their diapers. In fact. We did diapering as an assembly line. If one was getting changed-everyone was getting changed!
Confession #2: I yelled and lost my cool. I once threatened to leave my 5,4 and 3 year old in the grocery store if they did not stop saying, "Momma". And I think I just might have been serious. I once snatched up two of my boys and marched them over to their dad at Chuck E. Cheese; shoved them at him and said, 'I need to leave before something goes through the window' and then walked out without another word. I once locked myself in the bathroom crying from despair as they knocked on the door wondering what was wrong. Which of course made me cry harder because they were so sweet. (ok. that happened more than once)
Confession #3: I likely neglected my daughter at pivotal times because of the three lil hooligans I had to chase after and the exhaustion I felt. She never complained. And she's loved me greatly in spite of it. I am so grateful that 5 years we had alone seemed to carry her over during the next 5 when I was likely a crazy woman. It always made me so thankful that she had her dad and his family so fully engaged in her life. I know that's not the norm. I do not know and likely never will know how that might've affected her.
Confession #4: I do not know how I did it. Now of course I give as encouragement...this stage will end, they won't always be in diapers, you won't always have to dress them, they will stop picking their nose. But at the time. It sure as heck did not seem like it. And I had a husband who was a big help, right in the trenches together. And. He was a big comfort to me and quite honestly kept me sane. But I do not know how because it seemed like it would never end.
I look at my kids now and I know that God equips and He makes beautiful things out of dust.
That's what I want to encourage moms with.
You will mess up. You will lose your cool. You will forget some milestones. You will want to run. You will be overwhelmed. You will leave your house unshowered. You will have throw up on you. You will cry. You will worry that you aren't doing it right. And there will be times you won't be.
But you get on your knees day after day and you ask Him for forgiveness and to give you what you need for the day. And time after time he does. And then some.
That's what I got today.
<3
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