'If I had a son...'
President Barack Obama took 2 minutes to answer a question about his thoughts on the Trayvon Martin case in March 2012.
And all the white people lost their shit.
Even white people you thought wouldn't. I've never unfriended and been unfriended on social media by so many people before or since.
Conservative media, news sources and all the 'jump on the bandwagon' folks tried to say:
that he bought Arizona and skittles because he was going to make 'lean'.
that he was a thug (aka n---a) because he posted a picture flipping the bird and wearing a grill.
that he was a delinquent because he had been suspended for having some marijuana.
that his hoodie was as much to blame as George Zimmerman's gun.
that there were no issues in Sanford.
It was not uncommon for me to have arguments that I had to step away from because of the justification for reasons he was killed:
about how it was dark and rainy and he had his hands in his pockets.
about how he looked older than 17.
about how he should have just stopped and spoke to George Zimmerman.
about how he didn't live there-he was only visiting.
about how it was raining.
For those that don't remember...or whose privilege allowed them to have their head in the sand...the national uproar came initially because of how long it took them to arrest George Zimmerman.
Trayvon was killed on February 26th, 2012.
The arrest did not come until April 11th, 2012.
I worked with pretty much all conservative white people at the time. I did not have the same point of view as many of my co-workers. And I remember as I would post articles or newsclips....as I would lament for Trayvon's family....as I would try to have conversations about my feelings...a very common response was that....
this wouldn't happen to your kids...
you have good kids....
there's obviously more to the story....
you weren't there....
But
It definitely could...
That doesn't matter...
There might not be...
I didn't need to be to believe....
And I grew tired. Tired of having the same old conversation. Tired of being reminded of how extreme the gap was that existed. Tired of having to explain.
It was the start of my decision that I no longer cared to try and reach people with racist ideology by trying to 'meet them halfway' by trying to 'understand their point of view' by trying to explain for the 100th time why I felt the way I did and so I wasn't going to try to. I'm not saying I won't speak up if I see and hear racist shit...I'm not saying I might not tell you about yourself....but you can't say something like 'White people are oppressed' and then have a conversation with me.
I don't know if this is right or wrong.
I just know it is what is for me.
Sitting down to dialogue with someone who is realizing that inequity is real or who has questions about my experience as a wife to a black man and mother to black sons in this day and age is one thing. I hope that when I share my heart...it makes people stop and think. I hope it leads to asking questions. I love having those conversations.
but I have no desire to debate that which is my experience...my husband's experience...my son's experience....with someone who
'has a black co worker'
'slept with a black guy once'
'has a black friend'
'read an article about racism'
or just
'wishes we wouldn't make it about color'
'doesn't see color'
'would rather focus on the good stuff''
'thinks I'm exaggerating'
I am a sociology major partly because I wanted to get out of school quickly and didn't want to wait for the classes needed to be a social work major. But also? Because I love people. I love humanity. I love what makes a community tick and what makes it break down. I love discovering patterns of society, how social norms influence growth and how social factors affect us (like race, age, gender, etc.) This has always driven me. And likely will continue to.
I remember that day. Hearing about and then reading about Trayvon Martin. Seeing my own sons...who often wore hoodies....who drank Arizon's....who sometimes walked home.
And I wept.
Because I do have a son.
And he could be Trayvon.
And George Zimmerman's lurk everywhere.
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