Tired and Weary.

I'm tired.

I've been feeling it for a little bit.  And even voicing it, which normally I avoid until I'm beyond exhausted, for a little bit.

My body is weary.  I have some reoccurring issues with my neck/back and a new issue with my shoulder.  My feet have recently been aching and the arthritis I've been told for years I have in my knees might actually have started to affect me.  It's no wonder I am moving slow.

My mind is clogged.  I have a more than full plate between now and the end of the year.  All good things.  Almost all necessary things.  But very much. I have several individuals weighing on my heart heavily.  I am trying to process everything going on and keep it all straight in my head.  It's no wonder I feel a day late and dollar short.

My schedule is full.  Between work, church, and family obligations...I am not sure if anything else could fit.  Christmas hustle and bustle.  Wrapping and parties and gatherings.  Meeting expectations and keeping appointments.  It's no wonder I can't keep days straight and think I'm free when I'm not.

My emotions are spent.  In a day I can find myself joking with co-workers and within in moments talking a mom down from going off on her child.  The extreme highs and lows make a roller coaster seem level.  It's no wonder sometimes I am not sure how I'll respond to a specific situation.

All of this is true.  And it's not life threatening or devastating.  But at times it definitely feels debilitating.

And yet.  

In the midst of it all.  In the deep, dark places where I try to run and hide...where I go to pull the covers over my head and escape...I am continuously reminded of His refreshment.  Of His comfort and His ability to bring me supernatural energy and joy that simply can't be explained.

If I choose not to work/live/function through the pain of my body....would anyone fault me?  Maybe not.  But to work/live/function through the pain provides me with opportunity to see just how comforting He is. When I call on His name, He gives me what I need for that moment. Allows me to appreciate days when I feel well and 100%.  It's taught me to slow down and be in tune with my body and what I can and can't do. I'm still realizing.

If I choose not to pay attention to all of my responsibilities...would anyone fault me?  Maybe not.  But to pay attention to them, even when my mind wants to wander and focus on candy crush instead, provides me with the opportunity to see just how strong He is. When I put everything in Him and allow Him to structure my day, He shows me how to prioritize.  Allows me to focus on one thing at a time.  It's reminded me that I can't be everything to everyone.  I'm still learning.

If I choose not to tackle my 'to-do' list....would anyone fault me?  Maybe not. But to maintain order and not be overwhelmed and shut down shows me what it means to allow Him to order my steps.  When I stop in the midst of chaos and ask Him to lead me....He shows me what to do first.  I feel a sense of peace when I bring Him into my day.  I've learned to let go of caring about things that don't matter.  It's helped me enjoy anointed appointments where I know I was right where He needed me to be, doing what He needed me to do. I'm still discovering.

If I choose to allow my emotions to run wild...to fly off the handle and lose control....would anyone fault me?  Maybe not.  But to do my best to lay it all at the foot of the cross, to remember the Holy Spirit is my helper and dwells in me gives me a sense of stability even when I am spinning out of emotional control.  In the midst of both triumph and struggle He is there.  My emotions are not my enemy but they don't control me either.  It encourages me to be okay in my emotions and share them.  I'm still embracing.

I am tired.

And you might be too.

If you are...try being tired in Him.  Try giving Him your weary self and see what happens.  He is able.  

Isaiah 40:38-31
Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and even His understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

That's what I got today.